For *Adeimantus 's Fukyu Challenge [link]

I hope I'm not to late. Thinking it'd be cool to submit it on NewYear's Eve, I decided to delay it's posting. Then forgot. Dumbass-self.

As a nod to Haiku, I decided to base it around the months of the year. But in keeping with the spirit of Fukyu, it's mean spirited rather than enlightening.

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Personified the months, calling them hers and hims, rather than just "observing" the seasons. Take that Haiku form

January: self explanatory
February: It's 28 days instead of 30
March: Easter rocks :B
April: T.S Elliot once said “April is the cruelest month, breeding lilacs out of the dead land, mixing memory and desire, stirring dull roots with spring rain.” All I heard was baaawww baaawww baawww
May: A nod to the Liverpool rhyme
Jun: Halfway point of the year, and popular month for weddings
July: Spent smoke and puke refers to the post July 4th celebrations
August: Lotsa countries declared independence in August (Ecuador, Pakistan, India, Singapore, Malaya, Korea, Indonesia and Uruguay) plus the repetition and rhyme in line 2 is a further insult to the Haiku form <spits>
September: The start of autumn, and leaf sweeping duties
October: Canadians are funneh people <3
November: being the third month with the [numeral]+ber, it always makes me think "lazy fuck calender namer"
December: Self explanatory