Join for FREE | Take the Tour Lost Password?

deviantART

 
About Me Senior Member Old Fart Qishin20/Male/Malaysia Recent Activity Deviant for 3 Years
4 Week Premium Membership:
Given by `Memnalar
Statistics 73 Deviations
9,758 Comments
48,854 Pageviews

Critiques


After all your kind comments, here's my belated response (sorry!) One thing I notice in your haiku, especially earlier in the month, is that they're top heavy (long-short-short); using line one as the set-up, with three tying back to line one. Not wrong, I just prefer the aesthetic of sho...


Welcome to the thon, I hope you're enjoying the deplorable summer heat so far. Since you've asked for crit, I'll go over it with a bit more detail. I like your use of personification throughout most of the pieces. However, many are wordy with adjectives that don't really help e...

Pikachu, use STAR ATTACK! :star:

It's Super effective; author is butthurt. :V

disclaimer: not all crits ended in butthurt

Twitter

October Saijiki Contest: Winners (+ more contest)

Journal Entry: Tue Nov 17, 2009, 12:56 AM
.


Hear lit tweet here :bulletblue: DA News :bulletblue: Lit-twitter's page

More contest


by ~the-haiku-club is hosting two other contests:

:bulletgreen: Sonorous Sounds contest. Due December 15th.

:bulletgreen: November Saijiki contest. Due November 30th.

The entries


Great work everyone. ~the-haiku-club's first monthly saijiki contest netted a dozen entries for its Global Saijiki:


Podium placers




:star: First place goes to ~mreid973's excellent haiga: scarecrows. What I enjoyed most about his submission was that it was the only haiga primarily focusing on human nature. Also impressive is how the haiku at the end speaks to the true nature of scarecrow as a fear inducing totem.

paper masks
silence scarecrows
in cornfields



:star: The other entries were no less impressive, even causing second place to become a tie between *ColdContactKiss and *Djoseph

:bulletblue: *ColdContactKiss with autumn rain:

daylight saved
another hour
for autumn rain


My personal favorite among all the entries, the sense of irony really tugs at my heart strings. A better analyst would have this to say about it "This entry combines the senryu and haiku forms with a wry wit, mocking a modern season marker (daylight savings) with an innocent observation about the weather."

:bulletblue: *Djoseph with autumn drizzle:

still falling
in the trees
autumn drizzle


I like that the first two lines (combined with the Autumn in its title) mislead the reader into thinking it's about falling leaves, and then reveals it's rain falling through trees. The alternate reading that people are taking cover from the drizzle, under a tree, is also a cute image.


:star: Third place goes to ~Aqua-rat with autumn wind:

the winds of spring
are now the winds of fall
still the larch dances


One of the other judges had this great quip about it, "with the world closing down for the year in the northern hemisphere Autumn can be a gloomy time. But true beauty is there to be found even in these circumstances. The dancing larches are all the more joyful because of the grey day."
I'll just say I love the sense of movement through out the piece, the wind blowing through the seasons and the lark's wings.


Honorable mentions


:bulletgreen: ~lucidflux for autumn waters.
This prose is as crisp and clear as the icy waters it ends in. Autumn holds unique joys that are well represented here with a playful flair.

:bulletgreen: *mcdermid for burning leaves.
On a chilly day the smell of burning leaves offers a special comfort. The choice of "sigh" is lovely because it steps around the more obvious words one might use to describe a fleeting scent. With daylight dwindling the sigh also seems to represent the world downshifting from the energy of warmer months and settling in for the winter.

:bulletgreen: ~ShinamoriWing for winter mist.
This work paints soft and beautiful imagery with syntax that carries very well from Japanese to English.


Also check out the journals of ~the-haiku-club, *ColdContactKiss, *Lit-Twitter, *mcdermid, and *saiun for more coverage on the results.


European film festival


In other news, I've been binging on film over the last weekend, rushing from venue to venue trying to catch them all. Of the 5 movies I did catch, I most enjoyed the German entry, Kirschblüten - Hanami @ Cherry Blossoms. A bit on the long side (2 hours plus), but definitely worth it if you've the time. 8/10 :star:

The one that failed to impress was the supposed "best of the lot", En la ciudad sin límites @ The Boundless City. Solid all around, but I just didn't much enjoy it. Also, Chaplin's daughter is pretty attractive for an elderly lady. 5/10 :star:

I'm on the fence about Polish entry, Duze zwierze @ The Big Animal which (I rather it didn't) reminded me of Peruvian film, El acuarelista @ The Watercolourist . In a nutshell: oddman out is harassed by batshit insane neighbors. More subtly done in The Big Animal, Animal is also interesting in that it's a recently made film in black & white. 6/10 :star:

Iscariot-priest's Profile Page
  • Mood: Humor

deviantID

My name is Qishin and I've been on DA for three years. I live in Sunny Malaysia, so feel free to ask me about weird exotic things I have no idea about. Bear with my terrible sense of humor and bluntness, and we'll get along swimmingly. It would also help if you learned to Sarcasm.

On DA, I'm most active within the prose and Eastern poetry community. On the Eastern front, I handle ~the-haiku-club. I also run the nosy Lit-Twitter project. So even if I seem quiet, I've probably got an eye on you.

Off from DA, you can find me on Last.fm and Twitter

Comments


:iconpomegranate-pen:
Thanks for the fav!
:icondalinksystem:
Thank you for the Watch. Appreciate it. :)

--
Expose Yourself. Expose Deviants. Expose Art. ~ *dALinkSystem
:iconyaggob:
CA-ME HAaaaa-MEeeee HAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!

JAAAAAAAA..............
:iconiscariot-priest:
You just know the baby is going to come back several episodes later, STRONGER THAN EVER!

--
“Now me lay down to sleep.
Mow da zeebas down like sheep.
Give dem to me nice and dead.
Me no happy ‘til me fed.”
-Bedtime prayer of crocs, Pearls Before Swine
:iconsunny-winter-star:
Your. Webcam. Is. Hilarious.

--
:picknose: -> :chew: -> :O_o: -> :doh: -> :dead: -> :ambulance: --> :tombstone:

COMMENTS ON SIGNATURE: 257
HELP ME RAISE THIS NUMBER ;P

Record: I got watched by 10 people for my signature, and I won 10 free internets & an oscar & a nobel prize! XD

Site Map